What if my surrounding sabotages my growth and healing?

tools for your mental health

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Is it easier for you to change when your surrounding agrees to these changes?


Do you maybe even need the ones around you to say yes to your personal growth?


Do you expect them to also change and experience the benefits of healing which you tasted?


How do you make them understand what they need to do to feel better?


And what if they are resistant and even sabotage your own growth and healing?


If these questions sound interesting or familiar to you, the new podcast episode just comes at the right time now ...




This new episode was inspired by the questions from a podcast listener who commented on podcast episode #36 "HOW DO I HEAL?" and send me her questions (HERE YOU CAN SEND A QUESTION TOO) which came up after listening to the episode. 


I am sure that these are questions which a lot of people ask themselves as well and I hope I can provide some inspiration and support for all of you to then come closer your own answers.



What I discuss in this new episode are these two questions of my podcast listener:


1) If you never experienced these moments of enlightenment and actually felt that these things which you explain are true – if you never started to work on yourself – how do you start healing? The more selfcare I develop for myself, the more I want to heal the world. How do I catch the people in my surrounding where they are and make them understand that it is a daily, lifelong and holistic process but that things really change if you do the work?"


And number 2):

"When you said towards the end of the podcast session #36 that if you have people in your life who sabotage your growth and your process and that the fact that these people are still in your life means that you are not ready yet – how about if these people are family members? It is difficult to heal if the own parents and friends did not go through healing."


Let me give you my opinion on these questions:


I truely think that you are always healing.

You are always growing and healing, it`s a natural daily process.


Look at one of these people you are referring to, let`s say, it`s your mother. If your mother scratches herself while doing gardening work on her finger and starts bleeding. This scratch heals after a while right? It`s not that she can say: I am not so into healing, please just let me bleed. This little scratch will heal eventually. And even if it is a bigger scratch where she has to decide to search for help. The moment she decides to search for help, she heals. The kind of help or the kind of healing she choses, is on a different page. But she heals and she choses healing.

The same mentally: let`s say she experienced stress or the loss of a person or some traumatic event. The moment she either subconsciously or consciously decides to continue living she heals. She goes on. She might still suffer or complain, but this is her choice of the healing process. If she decides to go on, she decides to heal. Maybe not in your eyes, because maybe in your eyes healing goes along with feeling better eventually, making faster progress or doing something to not experience pain any more. But this is YOUR interpretation.
I learned to become very humble when it comes to the choices people make concerning their healing and their personal growth. OF COURSE I think so often, that I do know better. That I would have the recipe for healing for them and that what they do is wrong or has nothing to do with healing or growing. BUT WHO AM I TO KNOW THIS? WHO AM I TO JUDGE THEIR DECISION?
So, my answer to this question is: see these people or this person you are accusing of not having started to heal or to grow through different eyes. Look at them and think: aaah, this is how he/ she decides to heal or to grow. Interesting …


Become aware of your judgements upon this person, become aware of YOUR WHY. Why should it actually be your business to tell this person how healing works and what would be best for her or him?


If you tell me, I want to help, I want to diminish the suffering I see in others, well fair enough, and also very kind and understandable but if you are really coming from an altruistic position, than the question should not be: HOW do I make them understand …?


The question should be: How can I support this person best and this is something only the other one can answer: so ASK! And if the answer is No, I don’t want your support or I don’t need it, than it is to be respected by you.
More in the podcast episode ...


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